Use these Awesome statuses on facebook
I married Miss Right.
I just didn’t know her first name was Always.
When I was little, “I am gonna tell your mom” was the scariest
I was going to give you a nasty look but I see you already have one.
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have
Alex, I’ll take ‘Things Only I Know’ for $200
Vegetarians and vegans spend entirely too much time trying to make
vegetables taste like meat. You made your choice, now live with it
Bed and Breakfast: two things the kids will never make for
When I grow up, I want to spend 1/3 of my life sleeping, 1/3 staring
at a computer in a tiny cubicle and 1/3 hating myself.
Promises are like babies: fun to make, but hell to deliver.
Don’t worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will
Eat and drink with your relatives; do business with strangers.
The reason men lie is because women ask so many questions.
There are two kinds of friends : those who are around when you need
them, and those who are around when they need you.
The 3 C’s of life…Choice, Chance, Change.. You must make the Choice
to take the Chance if u want anything to Change.
HUMBLE AND PROUD OF IT!
Everyone has that one little secret, that no one, not even your best
friend, knows about you.
We are shaped by what we love, especially dessert.
The wife and I just got divorced. We split the house. I got the
is retired. I was tired yesterday, and I'm tired again today.
was bringing sexy back, but lost the receipt.
thinks one good thing about Alzheimer's is that you can hide your
own Easter eggs!
is proud of himself. He finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the
box said 2-4 years.
just wants to point out that Cinderella is living proof that shoes
CAN change your life!
says practice safe lunch. Use a condiment!
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