Bitchy Facebook Statuses

You better put a condom on - if you're gonna act like a dick you need to dress like one.

Just because I don't want to fuck you anymore doesn't make me a lesbian. It just makes you an asshole.

If you ever need an outfit to match that stick up your ass, give me a call.

...if you're not bleeding, vomiting, or on fire, chill out and stop crying.

Im an angel! Honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo up straight!

4 out of 5 voices in my head say go back to sleep

FOR ALL OF YOU WHO TALK ABOUT ME THANKS FOR MAKING ME THE CENTER OF YOUR WORLD!

I can only please one person per day, today is not your day and tomorrow doesn't look good either.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

I am not a player.. I'm the game

I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot!

I Know I'm Not Perfect, but I'm So Close it scares me

hm i found penny! oh wait. nah i don't need another two faced and worthless thing in my life.

I smile because I have no idea what is going on

thinks its funny how some people have to comment on everything in my life 'cause they don't like their own!

I dont need Your Attitude, I Have One of My Own

There's a reason it's called 'girls gone wild' and not 'women gone wild'. When girls go wild, they show their tits. When women go wild, they kill men and drown their kids in a tub.

Yes, I'm pissed off and most people irritate me. But if people weren't so ignorant, self-absorbed, and down right stupid, I wouldn't be so Bitchy all the time.

Maybe if people had lives of their own, They would stay the hell out of mine!

The sexiest parts of my body? My brain, my spine, and my guts.

I cannot take any more; I'm so glad that I'll never fit in; That will never be me; Outcasts and girls with ambition; That's what I wanna see"

Aw yea i forgot, you act different when they're here

says: If someone accuses you of doing something you didn't, f**k them up and go n do it!

Sometimes you have to learn how to open your mouth for more than just giving head.

says you make it difficult to maintain my "never murdered anyone" streak

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

Today's bitchiness is brought to you by PMS!

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I'm right.

say something behind my back u run we get in a fight bitch !! say it to my face we get the fight over with!! so u pick :) have a bitchy day

Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.

I'm not anti-social, I just don't like you

I can either be your best friend or your worst enemy

I never said I was 100% Angel or 100% Devil. I am a combination of both. But, I AM ONE ROYAL BITCH!

If you are going to make me a piece in your game, don't be surprised if I decide to play.

We crush the caterpillars then complain there are no butterflies

I'm not a tease, Im just a reminder of what you can't have

Newsflash to the girls with profile pics in bras.This is Facebook not boob book.

Trying to jock my shit, I don't think so. No matter what, you're still a silly hoe.

OH bitch,do everyone a favour and shove your ego up your ass!

If it doesn't fit force it, if it breaks it needed replaced anyway

Enjoy life. There's plenty of time to be dead.

I don't want to achieve immortality thru my work. I want to achieve immortality thru not dying"

Don't give other people a piece of your mind unless you can afford it.

Foresight is knowing when to shut your mouth before someone suggests it.

Ugliness is superior to beauty because it lasts.

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change

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