Clever Facebook Statuses - Clever Status ideas

My toilet just overflowed, so now I know what the tsunami victims must have gone through

We need guns in stadiums. Sometimes they're the only way to convince a persistent mascot that you don't want to do the chicken dance.

I told this chick she drew her eyebrows on too high...she looked at me really surprised

People who copy and paste jokes from other’s status messages are idiots…A few seconds ago • Like • Comment

I just opened a pop-up store...in my pants.

is defying society’s law of average

is never fully dressed without a smile

You know you're fat if you can't get through the doggie door, and hve to call 911, and explain why u didn't use the whole door.

says if Mr Right leaves you does he become Mr Left?

is thinking that there are too many freaks & not enough circuses

thinks real life needs a search function… lost my keys!

asks all uneducated wall posters to press Ctrl + Alt + Del and then “see what happens”

is wondering if chocolate milk really comes from brown cows

is cleverly disguised as a responsible adultis an enigma, wrapped in a riddle

is wondering how she can go forward when she doesn’t know which way she’s facing

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

is nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect

thinks sex is better than logic, but he can’t prove it

is wondering why kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

imagines that a world without hypothetical situations is utterly imaginary…

I really like it when women check me out, they seem to be able to work the register a lot better than men.

is making cows laugh and watching milk run out their nose

is colour-blind and trying to solve a Rubik’s cube

was wondering why the Frisbee kept getting bigger… Then it hit him

is immune from all forms of chemical & biological attack.

wouldn’t be caught dead with a necrophiliac

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