that will get likes
statuses that will get likes on facebook
Wanna hear a joke
about my penis? Never mind, it's too long.
Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the
Chuck Norris does not use spell check. His spelling checks itself.
is an unlicensed helicopter pilot
can increase your penis size by 30%!!!!
is planning to quit the day he gets fired.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried
is wondering how blind people dream.
My heart is in the right place, I know, because I hid it there.
honey I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear! Husband:
kitchen, living room, dinning room, patio
Never trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes.
I wonder if fat drug dealers sell diet coke
I could talk about myself for hours. But the second someone asks me
to tell them a little bit about myself? I canít even remember my
One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost
and too stubborn to ask for directions
I donít know what Iíd do without Facebook. Probably my work
If you listen closely you can hear the gas pump tell your kid's
college fund to go fuck itself.
I shaved my commute time in half by changing my car's horn to sound
The awkward moment when wikipedia has copied your homework.
I carry a magnum size condom in my purse like a modern day glass
slipper. Some day my prince will come.
You`re beautiful until your Photoshop 30 day trial has gone.
Love is like a Cigarette- it starts with sparks, continue with burns
and ends with ashes. but don't worry we are chain smokers
You know how they say when you die, your whole life flashes before
you? Well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked
I can't even imagine what people did at red lights before cellphones.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you have boobs. It's
really that simple.
I always give 100% at work: 13% Monday 22% Tuesday 26% Wednesday 35%
Thursday 4% Friday
is wondering why rain drops and snow falls?
STUPID = Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand
I need someone really bad... are you really bad?
who says nothing is impossible!!! i m doing nothing for years
I don't get nervous if I'm surrounded by beautiful women. I know
they're all too busy hating each other to notice me.
Iím not 30 Iím 18 with 12 years of experience.
I spent my whole childhood wishing I was older. Now Iím older, it
I am a bad liarÖthats why i prefer telling the truthÖ
If you want people to know where you stand, wear the same socks for
just wants less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not
getting it done.
says "Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a
support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the
Some people are like Slinkies - not really good for anything, but
you still can't help but smile when you see them tumble down the
Chuck Norris can impregnate women with only a glance. He can also do
this to men
Statuses that will get
Try These Statuses
status and i will statuses
fun facebook statuses
funny facebook status
happy facebook statuses