Random Facebook Statuses

The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn.

I’m in shape. Round is a shape isn’t it?

The farther away the future is, the better it looks.

There are two kinds of people who don’t say much: those who are quiet and those who talk a lot.

I love to give homemade gifts. Which one of my kids do you want?

We are all part of the ultimate statistic – ten out of ten die.

I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.

If you do a job too well, you will get stuck with it.

How do you get holy water? Boil the hell out of it.

has google’d and google’d until my little paws hurt.

has ninety nine problems however, a biotch is not currently one. (this can coincide with a recent “in a relationship)

has just added a friend I don’t even know.

has noticed your mother has been calling me a lot, wondering whats that about?

has just bought a cadillac, throwing some D’s on that bitch.

has actually won the nigerian lottery!
pretty much going moment to moment right now…Wingin’ it, really

cool because he knows an egyptian

yeah, i may look calm, but inside my mind i hit u w/a brick

Mary had a little lamb, It tasted good with carrots and ham.

Behind every successful man is a woman. Behind the fall of every successful man is another woman!

The little Angel on my shoulder just joined forces with the little devil on my other shoulder. This should be good.

I might be crazy,but at least I keep it interesting..

has puked more than twice today.

has sold the dudes car who keep parking in my spot on eBay. SUCKA!!!

has made my car into a hybrid by siphoning gas out of your tank.

has noticed that your looking a little fat lately, you should really do something about that.

has seen pictures of you naked on the internet.

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